Look Inside
Inside the blah blah
The Details:
Does the following story sound familiar? You are preparing to take a cross-country flight and have painstakingly make travel arrangements to minimize commuting time so you can enjoy yourself and have a productive trip. You deliberately selected travels times that were convenient for your friends who you are visiting. You arrived at the airport two hours before flight time, only to learn that your flight was delayed an hour. While maybe not a major setback, the delay is minimally aggravating and potentially mood altering. An hour passes and you become more anxious because your friend who is picking you up at your destination will be on her lunch hour and must go back to work. If your flight arrives too late you will need to figure out alternative ground transportation. Finally, you board the flight and get settled in your seat, when the ominous loudspeaker clicks on and you hear “Good morning ladies and gentleman, this is Captain Earhart, we will not be departing the gate for another 45 minutes.” Now what will you do? For many, this common situation may be minimally frustrating, but for others, airport delays or similar unplanned life disruptions may provoke anxiety or anger, depending a variety of factors including what you expected to happen in the first place.
There are multiple reactions to the scenario described. Some people become extremely agitated, openly exhibiting displeasure as measured by facial grimacing or sighing. Others will express frustration by venting to fellow passengers, while exchanging tales of previous traveling woes. Frustrated passengers will make it crystal clear that the delay is upsetting. They may appear restless, forgoing work because concentration is hampered by their anxiety. Behaviorally the perturbed flyer frequently checks their watch or shows annoyance toward fellow passengers who appear unaffected by the delay. Conversely, others, primarily seasoned travelers who realize that delays are an inevitable part of the traveling process, may appear unaffected. These individuals probably don’t care about timeliness or were prepared in advance for potential inconvenience. They may have anticipated delays with the expectation of using any extra time productively by engaging in tasks such as returning phone calls, answering emails, or reading a book. Instead of lamenting, or appearing combative some individuals will perceive the delay as an opportunity to implement pre-determined plans to neutralize the consequences of the delay and minimize the disruption. In some cases, people may enjoy and prosper from the delay.
Why it Works:
The Calibration Hack explained how we tend to poorly estimate our abilities in relation to task demands, often underestimating the degree of effort needed to successfully complete a task. Hackless humans are notorious for making similar optimistic calculations in other aspects of life, making overly positive projections about anything from how long it will take to complete a project to the ease of navigating through airport parking and security on the way to the gate. Behaviors, which on face value may seem to be based on principles of efficiency, are rooted in personal bias contributing to the overestimation of control, while downplaying the probability that life will NOT go as planned. A quick glance at airline performance statistics reveals that on any given day about 20% of flights are delayed, yet few individuals plan accordingly or think their flight will be effected. Instead, some of us mistakenly believe that we can circumvent the odds and irrationally strive for perfectionism. While precise planning and anticipation of task obstacles are important themes for many of the Action Hacks, the effectiveness of the Reality Hack is based on how we view the improbable reality of perfection and how we can seemingly respond positively to negative events. The question then becomes why do some people ruminate and dwell upon the negative emotional consequences of an uncontrollable event, while others seem to prosper?
The difference between productively using the Reality Hack or succumbing to the emotional trauma of temporary inconvenience is grounded in views of perfectionism. Some of us, through a lifetime of experience, believe that personal satisfaction is unattainable unless things go exactly as planned. This type of perfectionist striving is both irrational and improbable. When we seek perfectionism, and fail, we have a choice. One approach is defaulting to a highly defensive, self-defeating perfectionist evaluation. In this instance, we make an arbitrary comparison between desired circumstances and actual circumstances. When we detect a gap, we mentally compare the current situation to a similar more positive outcome in the past, respond negatively, and dwell on the unjustified fear that delays, mistakes, and inevitable inconveniences are a negative self-reflection that may also skew how we appear to others. Alternatively, we can assume a goal-directed perfectionist stance by responding positively to an obstacle and view the situation as a chance to make progress toward pre-determined goals by demonstrating productive behaviors. Thus, the Reality Hack is two-fold; first we acknowledge that things will occasionally go wrong despite our best personal efforts, and second by viewing setbacks, mistakes, and disappointment an opportunity to progress and practice using different approaches to reach one’s desired goals. Ultimately, it is not the situation that determines behaviors, emotions, or outcomes but how we choose to react to specific events that are often beyond our direct control.
Application:
Using the Reality Hack usually means encountering some sort of frustration based on plans or expectations going wrong. First, a distinction should be made between situations that are within one’s personal control, compared to negative reactions to people, places, and events where we have little influential ability. The Reality Hack can be used to avoid lamenting about the results of a presidential election, or to provide ideas on how to entertain the children when the family picnic is rained out. However, a realist knows that personal effort has minimal impact on changing the course of uncontrollable events. The Hack is more useful when dealing with the disappointment of being passed over for a raise or promotion, failing in a personal relationship, or not being recognized for an accomplishment that you believed was noteworthy. In these circumstances, potential psychological devastation can be avoided by focusing on using different tactics and approaches to alter the outcome of similar future events.
The ideal approach is channeling the negative energy into a defined action plan for improvement, instead of whining and dwelling on the reasons for failure. The seasoned hacker will analyze the circumstances of disappointment or failure, and devise strategies to achieve a different, yet more desirable future outcome. A pre-requisite to using the Reality Hack is being able to describe in concrete terms exactly what a more desirable outcome looks like and then creating the conditions needed to realize the goal. While the earlier airplane example may seem uncontrollable, there are plenty of benefits to having unexpected time available, provided the individual is prepared to prosper. Preparation begins with realistic assessment of probabilities that things will not go per plan, and contingencies when reality disrupts desired goal attainment.
Does the following story sound familiar? You are preparing to take a cross-country flight and have painstakingly make travel arrangements to minimize commuting time so you can enjoy yourself and have a productive trip. You deliberately selected travels times that were convenient for your friends who you are visiting. You arrived at the airport two hours before flight time, only to learn that your flight was delayed an hour. While maybe not a major setback, the delay is minimally aggravating and potentially mood altering. An hour passes and you become more anxious because your friend who is picking you up at your destination will be on her lunch hour and must go back to work. If your flight arrives too late you will need to figure out alternative ground transportation. Finally, you board the flight and get settled in your seat, when the ominous loudspeaker clicks on and you hear “Good morning ladies and gentleman, this is Captain Earhart, we will not be departing the gate for another 45 minutes.” Now what will you do? For many, this common situation may be minimally frustrating, but for others, airport delays or similar unplanned life disruptions may provoke anxiety or anger, depending a variety of factors including what you expected to happen in the first place.
There are multiple reactions to the scenario described. Some people become extremely agitated, openly exhibiting displeasure as measured by facial grimacing or sighing. Others will express frustration by venting to fellow passengers, while exchanging tales of previous traveling woes. Frustrated passengers will make it crystal clear that the delay is upsetting. They may appear restless, forgoing work because concentration is hampered by their anxiety. Behaviorally the perturbed flyer frequently checks their watch or shows annoyance toward fellow passengers who appear unaffected by the delay. Conversely, others, primarily seasoned travelers who realize that delays are an inevitable part of the traveling process, may appear unaffected. These individuals probably don’t care about timeliness or were prepared in advance for potential inconvenience. They may have anticipated delays with the expectation of using any extra time productively by engaging in tasks such as returning phone calls, answering emails, or reading a book. Instead of lamenting, or appearing combative some individuals will perceive the delay as an opportunity to implement pre-determined plans to neutralize the consequences of the delay and minimize the disruption. In some cases, people may enjoy and prosper from the delay.
Why it Works:
The Calibration Hack explained how we tend to poorly estimate our abilities in relation to task demands, often underestimating the degree of effort needed to successfully complete a task. Hackless humans are notorious for making similar optimistic calculations in other aspects of life, making overly positive projections about anything from how long it will take to complete a project to the ease of navigating through airport parking and security on the way to the gate. Behaviors, which on face value may seem to be based on principles of efficiency, are rooted in personal bias contributing to the overestimation of control, while downplaying the probability that life will NOT go as planned. A quick glance at airline performance statistics reveals that on any given day about 20% of flights are delayed, yet few individuals plan accordingly or think their flight will be effected. Instead, some of us mistakenly believe that we can circumvent the odds and irrationally strive for perfectionism. While precise planning and anticipation of task obstacles are important themes for many of the Action Hacks, the effectiveness of the Reality Hack is based on how we view the improbable reality of perfection and how we can seemingly respond positively to negative events. The question then becomes why do some people ruminate and dwell upon the negative emotional consequences of an uncontrollable event, while others seem to prosper?
The difference between productively using the Reality Hack or succumbing to the emotional trauma of temporary inconvenience is grounded in views of perfectionism. Some of us, through a lifetime of experience, believe that personal satisfaction is unattainable unless things go exactly as planned. This type of perfectionist striving is both irrational and improbable. When we seek perfectionism, and fail, we have a choice. One approach is defaulting to a highly defensive, self-defeating perfectionist evaluation. In this instance, we make an arbitrary comparison between desired circumstances and actual circumstances. When we detect a gap, we mentally compare the current situation to a similar more positive outcome in the past, respond negatively, and dwell on the unjustified fear that delays, mistakes, and inevitable inconveniences are a negative self-reflection that may also skew how we appear to others. Alternatively, we can assume a goal-directed perfectionist stance by responding positively to an obstacle and view the situation as a chance to make progress toward pre-determined goals by demonstrating productive behaviors. Thus, the Reality Hack is two-fold; first we acknowledge that things will occasionally go wrong despite our best personal efforts, and second by viewing setbacks, mistakes, and disappointment an opportunity to progress and practice using different approaches to reach one’s desired goals. Ultimately, it is not the situation that determines behaviors, emotions, or outcomes but how we choose to react to specific events that are often beyond our direct control.
Application:
Using the Reality Hack usually means encountering some sort of frustration based on plans or expectations going wrong. First, a distinction should be made between situations that are within one’s personal control, compared to negative reactions to people, places, and events where we have little influential ability. The Reality Hack can be used to avoid lamenting about the results of a presidential election, or to provide ideas on how to entertain the children when the family picnic is rained out. However, a realist knows that personal effort has minimal impact on changing the course of uncontrollable events. The Hack is more useful when dealing with the disappointment of being passed over for a raise or promotion, failing in a personal relationship, or not being recognized for an accomplishment that you believed was noteworthy. In these circumstances, potential psychological devastation can be avoided by focusing on using different tactics and approaches to alter the outcome of similar future events.
The ideal approach is channeling the negative energy into a defined action plan for improvement, instead of whining and dwelling on the reasons for failure. The seasoned hacker will analyze the circumstances of disappointment or failure, and devise strategies to achieve a different, yet more desirable future outcome. A pre-requisite to using the Reality Hack is being able to describe in concrete terms exactly what a more desirable outcome looks like and then creating the conditions needed to realize the goal. While the earlier airplane example may seem uncontrollable, there are plenty of benefits to having unexpected time available, provided the individual is prepared to prosper. Preparation begins with realistic assessment of probabilities that things will not go per plan, and contingencies when reality disrupts desired goal attainment.